Snow Cannon Chaos
by isaacswolfsbane
Summary: The snow outside makes Fred come up with a brilliant plan to cause some mischief.
**AN:** Thank you to Annie, Mary and Queen Bookworm for betaing, and thank you to Cara for helping me work out what to do with the end of it!

* * *

 **QLFC Round 3 - Word Restricted Team Pride**

Chudley Cannons: Cannon(s)

Word Count: 2001-2250

 **Optional Prompts;**

3\. (dialogue) "Sometimes I really dislike you"

7\. (word) Destiny

13\. (word) Faithful

* * *

"It's snowing!"

"Look at the snow!"

The cries and shouts of excited Gryffindors rang out through the Common Room as Fred made his way downstairs, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he walked. He spotted George and Lee over by one of the windows and went to join them. Glancing out of the frosty glass, Fred saw why everyone was so excited. It hadn't just snowed. The ground was covered in almost two feet of snow. It was the most they'd had in years. His face instantly lit up as he had an idea.

"Do my eyes deceive me, or is Fred actually smiling before breakfast?" Lee laughed as he noticed the look on Fred's face. "What's the plan, mate?"

"Who says there's a plan? I could have just woken up in a good mood."

"Or he could have had a really great shag last night," George added.

"You're forgetting I've shared a dormitory with you for just over six years. The only time you're in a good mood in the morning, Fred, is when you're planning something. So spill." The look on Lee's face was enough to make both Fred and George roar with laughter. He was trying to be intimidating, but it wasn't working.

"I might be in a good mood, yes," Fred said when he finally managed to control his laughter. "But that's going to change if I don't get some food soon. Let's eat."

Fred took the lead as the three boys made their way to the Great Hall. Everyone they passed was talking about the snow; some of them loved it and were planning a snowball fight, some of them were worried about there being too much snow for the Hogwarts Express to handle and they might be stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas, and some of them didn't want there to be any snow at all. Fred, however, was just excited to get on with his plan.

The Great Hall in winter was one of Fred's favourite places. The room was always warm and homely, filled with the mouthwatering aroma of the various home-cooked, hot meals that were perfect for warming the bones on cold days. Fred took his usual seat at the Gryffindor table and proceeded to tell George and Lee about the plan he'd come up with that morning.

"What are you three planning then?" Ginny stopped behind Lee when she saw the grins on their faces.

"Who says we're planning anything?" Fred asked in mock innocence, perfectly replicating the way he had phrased the question to George and Lee that morning.

"Merlin, Fred, no need to get so defensive." Ginny held her hands up in mock surrender. "Just don't give Umbridge a reason to give you detention over Christmas and stop you going home. You know she would."

"She's right, you know, Freddie," George said once Ginny had left.

"What do you mean?"

"That Umbridge would be a perfect target." All three of them doubled over in laughter at this. Ginny gave them a cautious glance over her shoulder, but they were too preoccupied to notice.

* * *

The wind was a lot stronger than Fred had anticipated. He could only hope that it wouldn't be the same the following day or their plan might completely fail. They hurried past the Quidditch Pitch, thankful that nobody was crazy enough to be practising in this weather so they wouldn't be spotted, and hid behind the changing rooms.

"Okay, Freddie, how do we do this?" George asked as he cast a heating charm over each of them. Fred inwardly cursed himself for not having thought to do that before they'd left.

"Well, we're going to need a test subject for a start," Fred said, dragging out his words before quickly, and in unison with George, adding, "Not it!"

Lee groaned. "Why is it always me?—Don't answer that."

Fred took out his wand. "I assume I'm doing this since I'm the only one of us still doing Transfiguration."

Lee looked a little sheepish, but George stood there with a blinding grin on his face. "Of course, you are. We agreed that you'd do all the spellwork—Transfiguration and Charms—and I'd take Potions and Herbology. Cover all of our bases."

Fred shook his head and let out a little chuckle before pointing his wand at the ground. After casting a few spells, Fred, George, and Lee all watched as the snow started to form the shape of a cannon.

"That's amazing," Lee said. His mouth parted slightly in awe as the cannon formed, yet still stayed as snow.

"I know." Fred let a small laugh out. "I am the brilliant twin, after all."

"You wound me, Freddie."

"It's not my fault you were born second. It's been your destiny to come second to me from the minute you were born."

George let out a sharp laugh, and Fred walked around the cannon inspecting his handiwork. It was a perfect replica of the cannon he remembered seeing in one of Lee's Muggle Studies books in Third Year.

"Okay, snowballs…" Fred was mainly talking to himself, but almost instantly his head was hit by two snowballs in quick succession on each side of his head.

"That was what you wanted, right mate?" Lee asked, unable to hide the grin spreading across his face.

"Of course, it was," George joined in. He was much better at keeping his smile under control. "He wouldn't have mentioned snowballs if it wasn't."

Fred quickly rolled a couple of snowballs and threw them at his friends. They all roared with laughter. Lee threatened to turn it into a full snowball fight when he started to gather snow to retaliate, but George quickly stopped him by reminding Lee that they had work to do.

Soon, Fred had a pile of snowballs at his feet. He cast a modified Doubling Charm at the snowballs. He and George had found a way to make the Doubling Charm keep going until the caster stopped it when their mother had once threatened to take away their broomsticks. It had taken a while to perfect, but they had managed it. Somehow, Molly had managed to work out which ones their real brooms were and took them away anyway, so nothing had come of it other than figuring out a new charm.

"Okay, so we know the snowballs can be duplicated endlessly. How do we fire them?" Lee asked. He had always been the most practical of the three of them, even if it didn't seem like it most of the time.

"That, my dear partner, is where I'm struggling. You did Muggle Studies, Lee. How _do_ cannons work?"

Lee shrugged. "I don't know, mate; I never paid much attention in class. They just lit them on fire and the cannonball shot out."

"Why did we bring him again, Georgie?"

"Because we couldn't get rid of him?" George took a second to laugh at his own joke. "We could use _Oppugno_ , but I'm not sure how we'd be able to keep it up unless we were there."

"George, I don't say this often, but you're a genius! If we combine it with a delay charm, then we could cast it, and the snowballs will go one by one in a delay." Fred's face felt like it was going to explode. He hadn't smiled this much since he'd turned Ron's teddy bear into a spider when they were younger. "Lee, go and stand about ten feet in front of us."

Lee reluctantly moved to where Fred had directed him while Fred and George cast charms over the pile of snowballs in front of them. They didn't load them into the cannon, choosing first to make sure the charms worked while they were in a pile.

"Oppugno." Fred flicked his wand at Lee, and the pile of snowballs rose and started firing themselves at Lee. "Wonderful! Marvellous!"

"Glorious! Sublime!" George was smirking in amusement.

"No need to be sarcastic, Georgie. This is a wonderful day! Okay, Lee," Fred called. Lee was shaking the snow off his clothes and chuckling to himself slightly. "What we need now is for you to run around a bit."

Lee stuck his middle finger up at Fred and George but started running anyway as the two of them conjured some more snowballs. Not long after, this new batch of snowballs was firing itself at Lee, each one of them hitting him no matter how fast he ran or how well he was hidden.

"We're brilliant, Freddie," George said after they'd done a few more tests and they had all been successful. They exchanged giddy grins.

Lee walked over to them. He was drenched from head to foot and no longer smiling. "Are we done yet? The heating charm doesn't work very well when you're soaking wet!"

"Are you a wizard or not?" Fred cast a quick drying charm over Lee. "We haven't tested the cannon out yet; how could we be done?"

Lee shook his head. "Sometimes I really dislike you."

"Who me?" Fred asked.

"Or me?" George added.

"You'll have to be more specific."

"There are two of us, you know."

"We're not the same person," they finished in unison.

Lee was unable to gather the words to describe how much he wanted to strangle the twins, so he just laughed and headed back to where he'd been standing for the test.

"Okay, George, load the cannon!" George did just that, levitating the pile of snowballs and packing them all into the cannon. "And fire!" Fred pointed his wand at the cannon and the snowballs started flying out in quick succession, all hitting Lee either in the chest or the back of the head.

"I think we can call this mission a success, Freddie."

"I think we can, Georgie."

* * *

Setting up the Snow Cannon, as Fred had taken to calling their creation, in the courtyard was much easier now that they knew what they were doing. In what seemed like no time at all, the cannon was set up behind the Gryffindor statue and ready to fire snowballs at any unfortunate Slytherin that walked past.

It didn't take long before the cannon started firing and Fred and George heard the screams of a couple of Slytherin girls that had walked past. They peaked out from where they were hidden and saw that it was Parkinson and a couple of the other girls in her year. Fred had to cast a silencing charm on George to stop him from laughing; he was so loud that he would have given them away.

After they'd tested it out on a couple of other groups of Slytherins (one including Graham Montague, who threatened to break Fred's nose), Fred decided that it was time to move onto their final, and most impressive, part of his plan. For that, he needed to find Ginny.

* * *

"Ginny," Fred drew out her name into a pleading whine. "You know how you're my favourite sister." He put his arm around Ginny's shoulders making her jump.

"I'm your _only_ sister, Fred. What do you want?"

"You have Umbridge last, right?"

"Yes, bu—"

"Well," George jumped in, putting his arm around her shoulders from the other side. "We were wondering if, since we are your favourite brothers, you'd be willing to do us a favour."

"I'm not getting detention again just so you can plan something." Ginny put her hands on her hips and glared at them, reminding them of their mother.

"You wouldn't be!" Fred wondered when Ginny had started being able to see right through his plans. "We just want you to keep her distracted for a while after class."

"Yeah, just ask her about her cats or something."

Ginny sighed. "Okay, fine. You owe me, though. Keep Mum off my back over Christmas. Merlin knows she'll try and get me to do more than the rest of you."

"Deal," Fred and George agreed. They removed their arms from Ginny's shoulders and let her go.

* * *

Fred could feel his plan all coming together, and he couldn't stop smiling. When it was time to leave Transfiguration and meet George to put it all together he practically ran to the Entrance Hall, slowing down only when he saw Professor Snape rounding a corner.

George fell into step beside him almost instantly, and the two of them left the castle, following the outside of the building to the tower that held the teacher's offices'. When they got there, Fred set about creating another Snow Cannon and lining it up with the windows on the third floor.

"Are you sure this will work?" George asked as he duplicated snowballs.

"Of course, it will. If it doesn't, we'll just use rocks."

Once Fred was done setting up the Snow Cannon, they loaded it with snowballs and set it to fire at the windows. He had to reangle the cannon a couple of times, but eventually they started landing one after another in the centre of the window.

Almost an hour later, the window began to crack. Their faithful cannon was still firing snowball after snowball, and eventually, they broke through and started flooding into Umbridge's office.

Once Fred was sure the snowballs were all going into her office and the Doubling Charm was still working, Fred and George left their cannon behind and headed up to watch the chaos from inside.

* * *

 **Word Count:** 2,230.


End file.
